In years to come, somebody will write a cracking book about David Wagner’s Huddersfield. It won’t be The Fiver, because by then we’ll be in the retirement community, rocking back and forth and boasting about how we once had a face-to-face interview with Les Reed. But somebody will do it, because in the last two years they have produced one of the more charming stories in English football history.
The book will include a great chapter on 9 May 2018. Sod the actual football, though their 1-1 draw at Chelsea was bursting with an infectious, demented heroism. The really good bit will be the story of what happened afterwards. Huddersfield abandoned plans to fly back north and spent the night drinking expensive bottles of Liver Compromiser. “You never know who you will find partying at Chinawhite,” boasts the website for the famous London nightspot. “Recent attendees have included the likes of: Leonardo DiCaprio, Kate Moss, Tom Cruise, Cara Delevingne, Rihanna, Drake, One Direction, Kendall Jenner, Idris Elba, Ciara, Lewis Hamilton, Naomi Campbell, Jordan Dunn, Rita Ora, Usain Bolt, Gigi Hadid, Laurent Depoitre, Jonathan Hogg and Mathias Jørgensen, aka Zanka.”
Mind, if Huddersfield aren’t careful they’ll receive English football’s new kiss of death: the phrase “Model Club”. It used to apply to Southampton and Swansea, one of whom will be relegated on Sunday. It will almost certainly be Swansea, and it has now emerged that Carlos Carvalhal will be quietly bundled out the door marked ‘Do One’ at the end of the season. Chris Coleman, a specialist in getting teams out of the Championship, is the early favourite, although we quite like the odds of 5,000-1 on our stereotypical cousin, Llanfairpwllgwyngyllgogerychwyrndrobwllllantysiliogogogoch Fiver, getting the job. He’s Welsh, you know. In years to come, somebody will also write a cracking book on Swansea City in the 2010s. For the most part it’ll be a rollocking, feelgood yarn. Just don’t expect a happy ending, eh.
QUOTE OF THE DAY
“After much reflection we decided we couldn’t play a show during the Champions League final. We asked Uefa to change the date of the match but they denied our request. We would always want to give 100% when we play but in this instance our heads wouldn’t have been in the right place. We sincerely hope you understand” – Echo and the Bunnymen explain why they’re changing the date of their Birmingham Symphony Hall show from 26 May to 29 May. Fumed fan Robert O’Callaghan: “You should honour your commitments in life – not jump to the better offer as it suits you. Very flaky – come on Real Madrid.”